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J.M. Kearns, writer |
______________________________________________________________________________________ J.M. Kearns writes about relationships. Sometimes non-fiction, sometimes novels, sometimes songs. You'll find them all on here. header photo is a view from Cape May, NJ |
Q&A with J.M. Kearns |
J.M. Kearns is the author of Why Mr. Right Can't Find You. This best-selling relationship book has been published in Canada, the US, the UK, and Australia; and has recently been translated into French and Chinese. Embraced by readers and the press on both sides of the Atlantic, it has been featured on Oprah & Friends Radio and in OK! Magazine, Glamour, Cosmopolitan-UK, Maclean's, The Toronto Star, and many others. J.M. also wrote Better Love Next Time, a book that explores what your broken heart is trying to tell you: how to overcome the damage of a failed relationship and unearth its hidden messages. His latest book, Shopping for Mr Right (2011), is the second installment of the ideas of Why Mr. Right Can't Find You. See the Q&A below, for how the two books relate. J.M. is also a novelist and a singer-songwriter. His bio is here. For more on his books, please press here; for his songs, press here. |
Is the new book, Shopping for Mr. Right, a redo of Why Mr. Right Can't Find You with a shopping slant? No it isn't. I don't like repeating myself. Shopping breaks new ground, filling in more of the picture that I began to draw in Why Mr. Right Can't Find You. We didn't call it "Why Mr. Right Part Two", because that would be a bit clunky, but that's really what it is. |
So what is the essence of each book? How do they relate to each other? Well, Why Mr Right gives you the foundation. It all comes down to this: you may think he isn't out there -- the worthy man who is looking for you -- but he is. A bunch of tricky myths conspire to make you think he doesn't exist, or he doesn't want you, or you couldn't find him anyway. In Why Mr. Right Can't Find You I break down those myths, one by one, and suddenly you feel the curtain lifting and you can see him out there. That's what allows you to help him. I show his actual situation to you in a way you may never have imagined it, and show you how to proactively reach out to him and meet him halfway. What about the new book? Why the shopping slant? When I looked at the areas I hadn't yet gotten to in Why Mr Right, I realized they all call for the same proactive skill set we use in shopping. For example, when you shop for something difficult, you research the product -- in this case, men. And I wanted to explain more about what makes men tick, to demystify them. Or take online dating. When you're looking for a partner online, you're sitting there at your computer and you actually have the power to find the most important person in your life, if you just do it right. It's like shopping for the right dress. Only it's not a material thing you're looking for, it's a human being -- so the process is more complicated, with more pitfalls. That's what I address in the new book. In Why Mr Right I overcome the resistance to online dating and lay out the basics -- including how to approach the first in-person meeting. In Shopping I go into very gritty detail about choosing a site and breaking through to the guy you want. What are the hidden resources of online dating, and how do you use them? A third, huge topic that is hardly ever dealt with is the Trial Period. Most dating books assume that once you meet a guy and feel the tremors of romance, you're there. Not true. You need a way of deciding whether this guy is the one you should commit to. Falling in love does not mean he's the right one. In Shopping for Mr. Right I devote over fifty pages to this crucial stage, where we "test love by trying love". |
"Luck and Obsession: how a writer was made..." |